Step-Parenting: Some of the Challenges Faced As a Family

May 7th, 2021 by dayat No comments »

Step parents are faced with challenges of all sorts when they first decide to live together as a family. If however, they decide to take time to trace the cause of the problems, they would find that the odd clashes and misunderstanding can be managed effectively.

Here are some of the challenges:

staying together as a family unit
spending time together as a couple
financial pressures
discipline of the children
Staying together as a family unit

It is a known fact that it is impossible to have the two families live together all the time, as consideration has to be given to the ex- partner who also has access. It is equally frustrating to see that the minute the new step parent steps in, the children may decide to leave.

Some children leave to go and stay with the other parent who may not be in a relationship at the moment.

There have been instances where both parents have moved on with their lives and have gone on to re-marry. The children at the centre of both lives sometimes feel left out.

Solution: Hard as it sometimes may be – you may have to consistently reassure your children that you still want them in your life. Sometimes the children may have to be told many times and in different ways that they are still loved in spite of having someone new in the parent’s life.

The reality of life is that sometimes the step children may never get on no matter how hard you as the step parent try.

It is your responsibility, however as a step parent to ensure that you try to get them involved in activities of interest and get to do it together.

You would also have to try to avoid any form of favouritism towards your own child or towards your step child to score brownie points.

Spending Time together as a couple

If the house is filled with children from either side, it will take a lot of effort on the part of the step parents to keep their relationship going.

This is because apart from being step parents, they may also be working. So they need to be parents to their children and also earn a living to survive and keep the family going.

Solution: In the midst of all the busyness going on in the house and at work, the couple need to find time for themselves. They could cultivate a time of the week or month where they do things together as a couple.

Financial issues

If the one or both step parents have financial problems, it could affect the relationship in one way or the other. The burden of sorting out the financial mess may not necessarily fall on the other partner, but they will certainly feel obliged to help in any way possible.

Solution: Table your finances out and be transparent about it to each other – if you need to seek professional help together then do it.

Discipline of the children

This subject is very common among step parents and is also a sensitive one. Sometimes, step parents might find that the children of either spouse needs to be disciplined and they might feel that it is not in their place to say anything or even if they do, the step child may not give them any regard.

Solution: The discipline of the children is important and the responsibility should be handled with care. What would be the most ideal thing to do is to allow the biological parent discipline their own child. If this responsibility is left to the step parent, then it could potentially cause a lot of misunderstanding in the family. The child may feel they are being punished unnecessarily and may never get to bond with the other parent.

Step Parenting Made Easy

April 7th, 2021 by dayat No comments »

Step Parenting is a topic that so many people have serious issues dealing with. Every parent has a dream to have a happy family and raise their children in the best atmosphere ever where there is peace, joy and love in the family. But sometimes it doesn’t always happen like that. The problem starts when each parent doesn’t seem to agree with each other’s idea anymore and before you know it they are already breaking up and calling it a quit. Most of the times children get to see these disagreements between their parents which are a lot already traumatic for them. So getting to adjust with someone who is not their biological parent might be difficult, not to even talk of the fact that they were not really comfortable with their own biological parent in the first place. When parents break up and get married to another partner that is when step parenting begins.

If you are a step parent and you are confused and do not know what to do to get your step kid(s) to love you here are some tips that can move your seemingly step parenting nightmare into a beautiful morning.

Tips for Step Parents

Being a step parent is not an easy task at all; I can say that because I have been a victim. I was a little boy when my mama left my dad. The reason for her leaving was because my elder sister got pregnant and my dad said he can’t have her stay with him any longer and that she needs to relocate and go stay with my grandmamma. This idea was just too crazy for my mama to agree with, but after series of talking she finally agreed to have relocated. On the day that my sister was to leave my mama said she is going to take her to my grandma herself. She took her to my grandma with previous agreement but when she got there and stayed for about two weeks she decided on her own that she is not coming back again to my dad. That decision was already traumatic for me and my siblings. One year later my dad got married to other women with the reason which we had never seen before.

At that point all I did was to fight and complain about everything she did to my dad, she was not friendly either. She yells at me and makes different attempt to hit me which I did not like. I might not be able to go into all the detail of the story. But the whole idea behind this story is that her behavior was already wrong towards me so I fought her with everything I had. She was able to last for 5 years after which she had to leave because my dad started having problems with her too.

As a step parent you need to understand that the mother or father of the child you are about to leave with might like you at the first instance but your attitude and actions towards them can change everything. Try as much as possible not to take things too personal because they are only trying to protect their home which is normal for every ones.

Step parenting would be easier for you if you start to love your step children irrespective of what they do to you. “Life is an echo it gives back what you give,” the corresponding action to love is love. With time and a consistent showing of love, your step child (ren) will learn to love and respect you.

Your step children have a high possibility of making your marriage work or not work. So, take your time, observe them, be patient, respect their privacy and above all love them. If you can do this things getting a blissful marriage should not be a nightmare.